Below you will find funny and funny quotes. Choose a joke to tell your friends. There are also the funniest quotes from films and books. Memorize comic and funny aphorisms. All funny statuses about life are made especially for you. Choose the most witty and stubborn.
- And the true explanation is that a big demon has infused him and the darkness of the little ones has come running to serve the big one. (Franz Kafka).
- Absurdity is a statement or opinion that is clearly contrary to what we ourselves think about this. (Ambrose Beers).
- God created us in his own image and likeness. But where is the confidence that he worked in a realistic manner? (Stanislav Jerzy Lets).
- Most business people started with the fact that, in their youth, they took from friends to read books and did not return. (Vitaliy Vlasenko).
- In the beginning was the Word or the preface? (Konstantin Kushner).
- In one question, men and women certainly agree with each other: both of them do not trust women. (Seneca Lucius Anney (Jr.).
- To believe in progress does not mean to believe that progress has already taken place. That would not be faith. (Franz Kafka).
- All people are brothers: some by reason, and others by misunderstanding. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Everything is not so bad: they did not sell us - they gave us away for nothing. (Karel Capek).
- All officials are on one person. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Yesterday, four members of the Ossetian national sambo team entered the restaurant, ate and left. Old-timers say they don’t remember such cultural behavior from the 58th year. (Zaurbek Zangiev).
- You say ten men are waiting at my door? Send one home, I'm tired today.
- Choosing a bride is stupid! The main thing is to choose a mother-in-law! (Author unknown).
- Wherever you find yourself, people will always be no more stupid than you. (Denis Didro).
- Said the astrologer Reich
Hitler, that he is a Taurus:
“Do not go to war against the Russians!”
He went. Well, yes, Taurus. (Andrey Rodnykh). - Even the bottom can be an underwater peak. (Konstantin Kushner).
- A diary is a day-by-day recording of those actions and thoughts that a writer can remember without blushing. (Ambrose Beers).
- Good laugh is the sunlight in the house (William Thackeray).
- I think this is a good definition, because it does not explain anything exactly and absolutely. (Karel Capek).
- Spirit only becomes free when it ceases to be a support. (Franz Kafka).
- His fatigue is the gladiator’s fatigue after the battle, his job was to whitewash the corner of the office building. (Franz Kafka).
- If I did plastic surgery, now I would look like Angelica. And I look like the grandmother of Angelica! (Michel Mercier).
- If you have sex with Johnny Depp, then this will not make you gay, because it’s Johnny Depp. (Marilyn Manson).
- There are several ways to set up gardens: the best of them is to entrust this work to the gardener. (Karel Capek).
- A woman should: one - lie down, two - quietly! (Mikhail Zhvanetsky).
- Women die later than men because they are always late. (Faina Ranevskaya).
- Living is actually such a profession. But, basically, most people are involved in amateur activities. (M. Zadornov).
- Nothing can be fixed, but it is still possible to ruin it completely. (Mikhail Mamchich).
- How people love to laugh! Despite the severe frost, they flock in droves from the outskirts to the city center, stand in line, pay money and sit in the hall until midnight only to laugh heartily. (Hermann Hesse).
- As soon as we began to bury, we became people.When someone is buried, we ask: “Whom are they burying?” We never ask: “Why bury? (Mikhail Yurievich Elizarov).
- The consensus between full and hungry is nonsense. (Konstantin Kushner).
- It is easier to protect one's virtue from men than one's reputation from women. (Brigid Bordeaux).
- Love is bathing, you must either dive headlong or not climb into the water at all. If you wander along the coast knee-deep in water, then you will only be sprayed with spray and you will freeze and get angry. (Sergey Yesenin).
- I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all! (Coco Chanel).
- A lot has been invented in order not to think. (Karel Capek).
- Much follows from cases left to chance. (Leonid Sukhorukov).
- A husband is a person who always forgets your birthday and never misses an opportunity to name your age. (Marilyn Monroe).
- A man is like a tan: first he pests on a woman, and then he rinses off. (K. Melihan).
- Martyrs do not underestimate the body, they try to exalt it on the cross. In this they are one with their opponents. (Franz Kafka).
- We will still live in such a way that our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will envy us. (Victor Stepanovich Chernomyrdin).
- Do not be afraid of perfection. You cannot reach it. (Salvador Dali).
- Do not expect mercy from nature, do the weather yourself. (Konstantin Kushner).
- If you don’t know what to do, do as you know. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Do not judge a man by his friends; do not forget that at Judah the friends were impeccable. (Ernest Hemingway).
- Nearby are always nearby. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Extraordinary cases usually recur. (Karel Capek).
- Impassable fools are waiting for their pioneers. (Valentin Domil).
- He blamed others for what he could not do. (Valery Afonchenko).
- Some philosophers are mistaken, while others study their errors. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Donkeys applauding with their ears. (Arkady Davidovich).
- From every fool according to his ability, to every fool according to his needs. (Arkady Davidovich).
- Let go of idiots and clowns from your life. The circus must tour. (Faina Ranevskaya).
- I turn around, look, some guy is running towards me, with a wooden oar in his hands ... Well, such a joyful one. I’m still watching, this is not a found guy, I think, can I ask, can you ask? He didn’t ask anything. Without asking, he’ll give a paddle on the shoulder (Mikhail Evdokimov).
- The truth is good, and the bare truth is more curious. (Konstantin Kushner).
- Imagine what silence would be like if people said what they know! (Karel Capek).
- We give preference to that help, which entails other help, more powerful and lasting. (Mikhail Zhvanetsky).
- The attempt to turn Yeltsin into Clinton and Zyuganov into Monica Lewinsky failed. (Boris Nemtsov).
- Sorry for the spoiler, but we, we all die. And people hate it when you say it out loud. Especially during sex. (Dylan Moran).
- Hands - a business card of a girl. The neck is her passport. Breast - passport. (Coco Chanel).
- To lead means not to stop good people from working. (Sergey Kapitsa).
- A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite. (Faina Ranevskaya).
- Weak memory adds strength to us. (Bertold Brecht).
- Laugh with others, not others. (Albert Green Hubbard).
- The USSR is 22,400,000 square kilometers without a single Coca-Cola advertisement! (Gabriel Garcia Marquez).
- My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a bush of lilac in my ass and do a striptease in front of you. (Faina Ranevskaya).
- The essence of ostrich politics is not to hide your head in the sand, but to show your ass. (Valentin Domil).
- Theoretically, there is a complete possibility of happiness: to believe in something indestructible in yourself and not to strive for it. (Franz Kafka).
- To rush a woman is the same as trying to speed up the loading of a computer. The program should still do all the obviously necessary things and much more that always remains hidden from our understanding. (Adolf von Knigge).
- Trolleybuses are painted with advertisements for tourist trips to Greece for $ 2,000.As if those who ride a trolley can go to Greece for $ 2,000 ?! If they can go to Greece, then only on this trolley bus. (Mikhail Zadornov).
- The hardest thing is to bend the soft-bodied ram into a ram's horn. (Konstantin Kushner).
- I have so many fantasies of being a housewife. I guess I'm a dreamer ... (Marilyn Monroe).
- She had eyes like knuckles of dominoes "empty-empty" ...
He killed a woman - saved a beaver ... and a mink ... and a sable ... and a crocodile .... (Adolf von Knigge). - Want to admire Mona Lisa's cryptic smile without visiting the Louvre? Ask your wife where she is doing your salary ... (Seneca Lucius Anney (Jr.).
- Man descended from a monkey, and a woman from a bird or fish. (Adolf von Knigge).
- A larger number, cheaper. (Alexander Griboedov).
- Extraordinary half measures. (Konstantin Kushner).
- What comes first, salary or life? (Konstantin Kushner).
- I am always very friendly to those who are indifferent to me. (Oscar Wilde).
- I was riding in an elevator with two girls, and when they realized who I was, they fell to their knees. It was so exciting and exciting. (Matthew Bellamy).
- I drink, smoke, walk with women, gamble, but correspondence chess is a sin that I don’t have. (Mikhail Tal).
These were life statuses funny, funny and carbon monoxide quotes. Choose a few of them and learn by heart. All life quotes will please your friends.
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