Mom of six children: how to manage everything and not forget about yourself. Interview with Vasilina Smotrina

- Vasilina, tell us your secret: have you always dreamed of a big family?

- I think this is still my destiny, which I decided on as a child. I had a favorite doll and a bunch of little animals, and they were all my children. When I got a little older, I said that if I have a good husband, I will certainly have four children - I set myself the bar. Therefore, probably, at first four children were born after each other, and only then, with a break of five years, two more. This was an important and conscious step, before which I matured and realized that it was my destiny and my earthly essence. In general, I think that every person in the world has something for someone: someone cooks borscht better than anyone else in the world, he is loved for it and he’s thrilled. And when it’s buzzing, that’s the essence of it. Of course, I tried to work and develop in a career plan - I received two degrees: directing at the College of Arts and Culture and psychological at a pedagogical university. But at some point I realized that it was precisely such a career in my life that should be minimized. Home is my main and favorite job. After all, those with one or two children work successfully. And cope. And I have, so to speak, “above the norm” - four more children. And this is also a job for me that I can handle.

- Having six children is not an easy task for the body. Tell me about this side of the question: how were your pregnancies physically given to you?

- Of course, to endure toxicosis six times is not an easy task. In the last pregnancy it was especially difficult, because I have the last two children - Arkhip and Sasha - the weather, and physically “carrying” a baby and a tummy on me is not easy. But in fact, during pregnancy, the body heals, this also has advantages. In general, it seems to me that my mom’s skills are my innate talent, so pregnancy was easy for me.

- I know women who completely do not accept themselves in a state of pregnancy - as I understand it, this is not about you?

- No, of course not! Pregnancy is a magical state, I enjoy myself. Because when I'm not pregnant, I follow the figure. And when I get pregnant - I can relax a bit, allow too much. I like to emphasize my condition: do makeup, dress brightly, wear high-heeled shoes if I go out into the light. Moreover, they often write to me on social networks, they say, heels - this is harmful! I have long known what tone is - and in high-heeled shoes I feel very comfortable. If I need to go somewhere beautiful and elegant, I will have no excuses for this. Anyway, walking in high heels is another natural ability of mine.

- You mentioned that they often write to you on social networks. Do you feel the increased attention of people?

- Of course! Many people write to me and very actively - much more actively than I myself am. Children are my first priority, but when I have time, I like to share experiences with other mothers when they need it. I never climb with unsolicited advice, do not teach, do not read the instructions. But if someone asks me for something, I will always advise and tell you. Of course, any mother can share her experience - simply, when you have six children, for some reason you are more trusted.

—And do you receive negativity in your address?

- Yes, and quite often. I sometimes hear incorrect jokes, even from grandmothers at the entrance: did you have any light? I never enter into polemics and prove nothing. I respect the opinion of each person and simply understand that my choice is not suitable for everyone.

- So, we are smoothly moving on to your social life: in spite of total home employment, your social activities are quite active. Tell me more about this side of life and how you manage to do everything.

- I have always been an active person: the headman in a group, at school, the ringleader in all games, so I never dulled my leadership qualities in myself. That is my character. Among my projects is the Mrs. Tomsk contest, where I was awarded second place, then we became the family of the year. Now I am an active author in the magazine "Secular Boom", I am conducting the rubric "I am a mother." I have plans for my own creative project, and not one. And we are also building a house with my husband - and this is also one of my ongoing plans. As it turns out? I just love to dream and fulfill my dreams.

In general, I think that dreaming and planning is a good thing, all dreams come true, if you dream correctly.

Someone looks from the side and says: of course, it’s easy for you when you have money. I always laugh because I think everyone has the same opportunities. To have more, you need to do more. Of course, the fact that I have time for self-development, is a great merit of my husband: he not only works hard, but also helps me with children. We all do it in half. Moreover, we have boys, and here a lot depends on men's education.

- Parenting is an important topic. How do you raise your boyfriends?

- We have every child with his own business. In education, I believe, attention should be paid to both the physical and the spiritual. From the age of 4, our boys begin to play sports. The eldest is Cyril, he is already 17 years old - swimming and development of oratorical abilities. He participated in various contests of readers, theatrical productions. And soon he will have a graduation, he will be his leader. Yegor is 13 years old - he is a football player and at one time he was engaged in drawing. Zakhar is younger, he also plays football and sings. Participates in vocal competitions, takes prizes. Vovka is finishing first grade now, he wanted to play hockey from early childhood - and we sent him to the section as soon as possible, he had already gone to several tournaments. Often I hear from friends that sending a child somewhere is expensive.

So I’d better not buy myself new boots, but my child will go to the tournament, because this is experience, this is an investment in his future.

Boys and sports are inseparable things. Because it is sport that brings up willpower and determination in a person. This is very important for a man. As for spiritual development, it is not only useful in terms of harmonious development, but also some safety net. I try, so to speak, to lay straws so that the child understands that in life you can do anything. I help my children in everything so that they grow up truly happy and successful.

“Do you have any secrets that allow you to manage your large family so successfully?”

- I’ll open the main one: when there are more children, everything turns out even better. A child is a person born into the world, and we accompany him and help him take his place in the sun. I am not a mother hen, I share my time among children proportionally. All children are different, they need different attention. If a child likes to cuddle and kiss, I cuddle with pleasure. If the other child does not need this, I choose a different approach to him. I always find time to talk with everyone, to find out how he is doing: not only at school, because school for a child is always not a happy topic, but in general. I suggest that wear what to do, they listen to my advice. Dad is more busy with middle children, although last year, pregnant, I took Vova to train with the younger Arkhip and tummy. The time was difficult, and I took it philosophically: in no case did I complain and did not look for reasons for quarrels with family.

My husband helped me a lot, and all the household members understood that if dinner is not ready at home, you need to take it and cook it.

Another point.Many take children by the hand, some almost to retirement, because then the hand does not detach. We have to let go of our children's hands early. Of course, I worry, like all mothers: how a child gets to school, how he does his job, but every time everything works out well. Therefore, I strongly believe that you need to start trusting your children a little earlier, and not wipe their snot before old age.

I hear from other mothers sometimes: here, mine still can’t make the bed, it will do everything crookedly. Yes, let it be crooked - you will correct it later! And the other mother's daughter can not wash the dishes - there is fat. Yes, let it remain - today it did not work out, it will work tomorrow! Mom should not do for the child those things that he can do himself.

We also have a rule at home: if you go around the apartment, pick up what is lying around and put it in place. Therefore, no one walks around without me, and at home there is always order!

My children are my helpers. With each of them I live all the stages of their life: a kindergarten, a school, now the university in front of my eldest son is a new experience. It's so great that I'm so young, and I have such an adult son.

- And besides your husband, someone helps you - nannies, grandmothers?

“We don’t have a nanny, and grandmothers and my godmother always help us as far as possible.” My mother is an honored teacher, and my husband’s mother cooks very well, so I always joke that our children have been brought up and fed. They do not take children at once for all and for a long time, but they sit with joy when they need it. I am grateful for such help and I think that it is necessary to take what is offered, and not to complain that no one is busy with your children around the clock. I am glad of any help - including from the state: maternity capital, free trips to the summer camp. This is not very much - but it is also good.

In general, modern mothers have many gadgets designed to make life easier: washing and dishwashers, double boiler, baby monitors and so on. It’s much easier for us than once for our mothers. I believe that you need to think about your comfort and try to make your life easier in this sense. If you can’t find the money, save on something else and bring home comfort into your life. Ultimately, it will save your time.

- Perfect physical shape is the dream of many mothers. You are here ahead of the rest. How are you doing?

“By nature, I'm not at all a slender woman.” But it is important for me that I do not have extra pounds, so I always work on it. I won’t eat an extra bun if I understand that it’s harmful. I follow food, I go in for sports at home, while the younger Sashka is completely tiny. I twist the hoop, stand on the bar, swing the press, walk a lot. I do not come up with excuses that I do not have time and money. Sometimes other mothers complain: how can I follow the nutrition - cook for everyone and for myself separately? The answer is yes. Buy chicken, chop your breast and cook. Every day I bake rolls and cakes - but that does not mean that I eat them myself. And with such willpower, I not only stimulate myself - I set an example for my children. I teach them to finish the job and go to their goal.

- When you say that being a mom is a destination, what do you mean?

- The fact that I give life to man, that a new member of society is born. And the fact that the Almighty trusts me in raising men is also no accident. I do not boast, but I really know how to raise children. Of course, like all people, I have my own decline in inspiration and strength - but it is important to understand that I am a living person, you need to cheer up and move on.